NecHocNecIllud

Grim

Re: Grim’s Wu. There is a tendency to make Asian men desexualized comedy side kicks. I’d like to see them flesh him out into a whole person, because having him be just a comedy sidekick is like having a gay best friend or a magical negro. Twenty years ago it might have counted as representation, now it’s a stereotype, if that makes sense. They’ve been doing a good job iof fleshing out Hank, or I have hopes they can improve. 

Also: I hate amnesia plots the way I hate retcons.  There’s also an annoying shortage of fleshed out female characters.

Chicago Fire

I really don’t like medical/paramedic/fire type dramas.  I generally need persuading to try one.  (The Listener’s an exception, and the reason I got sucked in was the way they handled the trans episode plus the diverse and likable cast.  I watched House mostly for conversational purposes with my Mother, and my mixed feelings about it are on record).  Still, Chicago Code may have been a rip off of The Wire, but it was a pretty good rip off of The Wire given the constraints of network TV.  I still wasn’t going to watch Chicago Fire, but the toothsome and incredibly talented Eamon Walker is in it, and I am a sucker for watching him act.  It was still hard for me to make it through the first episode, but they had that lady I liked from Lie To Me (Monica Raymund), and I have nothing against Jesse Spenser despite him having been chase on House.  (I never liked the character until he deliberately killed that patient, and then suddenly his character got interesting.  The acting was never the problem and when they gave him stuff to do he did a pretty good job).  Anyway, I had trouble making it through the first one, but I stuck with it and I think it was worth it.  It helps that they are expanding the characters one by one instead of having it all be that one guy, and there is way more of Mr. Walker as it continues.  I am easily taken in by ensemble casts.  Extra points for the cast being more diverse than Chicago Code’s.  I do wish they’d gone for ambient sound instead of overly sentimental incidental music which gets right up my nose, but it’s still above average for this sort of drama with it’s long arcs and deliberate sense of forward motion.  I like it and I really don’t like this type of show, which may sound like a week endorsement, but it’s not.  Why am I writing about it here?  I just did a five episode marathon as I taped it, but was just that loath to watch it.  (I don’t have a phobia, but I’ve spent a lot of my time in hospitals over the years.  Watching hospital/paramedics/fire fighter drama is about as appealing to me as watching a drama about sitting around in airports, another activity I’ve spent way to much time doing over the years.  If someone as disinclined to watch this as I am likes it enough to do five hours in an evening on purpose, trust me it’s good.)

To be clear, I genuinely appreciate real life first responders and Medical personnel and believe that first responders and nurses ought to be better paid and have better health care than we give them in this country.

Breaking Bad

People kept talking up Breaking Bad, so I decided to give it a try.  I’m working through Season one.  It is as well written and acted as I was promised.  I actually like the way they are handling the cancer, both from a various people in the extended family dealing with it in different ways and from an economics of rationed health care and crappy pay for teachers perspective.  I also appreciate the bits of teaching and school culture are done.  I can actually believe in Wilt as a teacher.  He’s got that still a pretty good teacher, but starting to burn out feel to him that everyone’s seen if you spend enough time in the schools.  The thing that is not so believable is how nice and new the school and classroom furnishings are.  I know they shot it in a real school that was privately funded and so well stocked and furnished, but the average real world chemistry teacher is dealing with not enough desks, chairs, and gas valves, let alone decant glassware and chemical stores.  A teacher needing two jobs to pay mortgage and having a crappy HMO?  Completely believable.  Enough equipment for the students to do experiments and there to be extra glassware and gas masks?  Not so much, but it’s a small caveat and I’m definitely finding it compelling.

Seeing the Criminal Minds finale this close to the Listener season opener really points out how formulaic bank robbery episodes are on TV.

I am finding the Craig Ferguson Scotland shows fascinating.

 I like them as travelog, but what really gets me is how startled he is at how beautiful it is.  You can really tell how badly he must have wanted out growing up there as a kid; his surprise at how much fun he’s having and the beauty underlines it.  I had to be away from Philly most of a decade to start appreciating the architecture on trips back, and more than two decades after I still feel trapped when I’m there.  He’s been gone longer and it shows.  He can mostly see it from outside now, and seems to be having a good time rediscovering, even with the scars and old traumas.  The stuff at his old high School tonight…  Wow.  He generally jokes about painful stuff like his addiction in a self depreciating way.  The school stuff was like that, the bad grades, the violence, and the beatings, contrasted with the much gentler modern system.  I’m looking a him in this whole new way as a person, rater than entertainment.  Watching him on this journey is surprisingly touching in between the funny bits. 

Until this week I’ve never given much thought to him as a person rather than a snarky stage persona.  I’m just generally not must interested in the personalities or personal lives of celebrities (outside of things like Sean Connery being a domestic abuser or all of Mel Gibson’s -isms.  I mostly want to know who to avoid).  There are exceptions.  Watching Johnny Depp talk about his friendship with Hunter S. Thompson, for example.  Mostly, celebrities are boring on chat shows presenting a bland persona and plugging the project with very little of real interest to say.  I don’t generally care about their small children or small talk any more than I do about a strangers on a bus.  Similarly, I don’t generally kid myself that watching a celebrity chat show host is the same as knowing them as a person.  Stephen Colbert is more blatant about it al being persona.  I tend to assume that other comedians and actors turned hosts are doing something similar, that even though there is some of them in their public persona, what they are really doing is a performance.  Craig Ferguson’s performance intrigues me, as does his deliberate deconstruction of the chat show format he’s simultaneously performing.  The “I don’t give a fuck” persona is actually frequently good at bringing out interesting performances in his guests, something rather less likely with hosts who are playing it mostly straight.  The agenda is different, and that tends to effect results in less predictable ways.

It think that’s why I’m simultaneously fascinated and unsettled by glimpses of real under the snarky performance this week.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s still performance and persona, it’s just I keep getting the feeling that the mask is slipping in spots.  I’m not used to being drawn in this way.

Glee: Season 2

1. I think I forgot to mention that I think “Isn’t She Lovely” was the best fit for Artie’s voice of any of the songs I’ve seen him do so far.
2. I think I’m going to have to rewatch most of the last disk to poke at odds and ends.
3. OMG, Rachel’s coat in New York. I can’t decide if it’s brilliant or too on the nose.
4. Breakfast at Tiffany’s FTW.
5. I know Glee is deliberately heightened reality and certain things you have to accept like them doing different songs every week with little or no practice instead of working a program week after week like we did in choir. I get that, I really do. At the same time, them writing professional level songs, practicing them with student musicians, and choreographing hem over night? Too much for my ability to suspend disbelief which is always constantly stretched. It kept pulling me out of the thing, and meant I was expecting the to fail spectacularly. Of course I was also expecting that from the over confidence. I was actually disappointed they only failed a little. Was that the effect they were aiming for? I can’t tell.

Glee: Season 2

1. I don’t think I mentioned how much “Born This Way” made me realize exactly what rm means about Quinn putting on her gender every morning.
2. Similarly, season 2 in general is chock full of evidence for Kurt’s connection to death and mourning rituals.
3. I’m not sure if I’ve been clear that I mostly only noticed spoilers relevant to my interest or involving characters where I know who they are. Until last Christmas (Season 3) I had no idea who Sam was, though I was aware there was a character called that.
4. So I got to the Prom last night.
5. Karofsky broke my heart in this one, the scene before the class room door. Och, ouch, ouch. The moment he broke and ran at the end. I appreciate the plot line. It’s necessary and important. I appreciate the quality of acting, without which it would feel after school special. Instead it reads right. I didn’t date football players, but in High School, I did date a string of working class bisexual tough guys who lived in neighborhoods where they would literally be beaten and possibly killed if they came out. I know something about how fucking scary desire can be, the courage it takes to take even baby steps, and the way that shit can turn really violent when thwarted. After all, that’s why I was attacked at work when I was sixteen, and why I and my lovers were nearly killed in the Fall of ‘87. The fear Kurt had of sexual violence or the other kind was realistic; so is the genuine pain Karofsky is in and Kurt’s response to it now.
6. I think the Breadstix proposal scene is the place I have most seen Mr. Criss struggling with the difference between stage and television acting, made more obvious by just how good Mr. Colfer is in that scene.
7. Kurt Hummel’s kilt tuxedo looks very cool, much cooler than the more authentic one my lab partner wore to senior prom back in ‘88. I was scared they’d talk him out of it.
7. Kurt’s face in the moment he stepped up to he microphone, right before he lifted his chin to face them down with dignity, spoke more to why the word “Queen” can hurt than any amount of words.
8. Kurt’s dignity and grace as he spoke, then stepped out for his dance… wow. That kind of strength I know something about too. I think what seeing this would have meant to me if I’d seen it back during my nearly a decade of my own grim little war. I had to jettisoned nearly everything I didn’t need, but my honor and dignity were essentials. It’s why I didn’t break. Watching Kurt with his head high, turning something cruel into something strong and beautiful and defiant? Yes. That’s perfect. I think of all those kids out there fighting their own grim little wars and I’m glad they got to see Kurt Hummel at prom being brave and beautiful.
9. Blaine in the locker room before Kurt goes back in being supportive despite his own issues, and to the brave and right thing after Karofsky runs away? I have some idea of what all that cost given his Sadie Hawkins history, to let this be about Kurt and his needs instead of Blaine’s own. Just because it’s right, doesn’t mean it’s easy or lacking in real terror, hidden under the private school poker face that says everything’s okay. It speaks to Blaine’s real quality as a man and a boyfriend.
10. I have nothing clever to sy about Funerl that rm hasn’t already said, to be honest.

Glee: Season 2

1. Watching the “Born This Way” episode, I was startled by how incandescently beautiful Kurt was, but I couldn’t put my finger on what was different, so I watched it again and and spotted the exact moment he changed. It’s during his long solo ballad. He gets this glint in his eyes, and raises his hands while singing, like in “Don’t Cry For Me,” only this time, there is no one gesturing for him to tone it down The whole rest of the episode, he sings with holds hands and his whole body. e’s free to be all of himself again, ad there’s joy in every hip wiggle and guest. Back when Blaine was singing him good bye, he makes gesture like he’s releasing a bird. I keep thinking, “Take these broken wings and learn to fly.” When they all hug him good bye, they are both affirming his value, but letting him go, out of the cage, and the whole rest of the episode, he’s flying again. What a beautiful and generous thing for Blaine to do, to have understood how much Kurt needed this in “Night of Neglect” and to set up the little good bye ceremony that said, “I/we love you, now go fly!” That’s very generous and grown up thing to do, to be happy for Kurt even though free means not together every day, even though it means being alone in the cage and catching time together where they can in the evening.
2. I’m not sure it’s always clear how fond I am of Blaine and how much empathy and admiration I have for him. How can I not, knowing what the costs are and just what it takes to survive.
3. I love that Puck chose the “I’m With Stupid” Arrow pointing to his crotch shirt.
4. Have I mentioned how much happier I am with Lauren than I expected to be? I thought she was going to be a one note joke, but they fleshed her out to be a whole person good and bad like everyone else.
5. Every time Rachel’s Barbra thing comes up, I think of my Mother, who felt that way about her too. We weren’t Jewish, but my Mom was never conventionally beautiful and she found Barbra Streisand inspirational, her bravery and confidence, her making the world see her as beautiful just the way she was instead of changing herself to fit someone else’s idea of who she should be. (And yes, that’s something that’s cool about Lea Michelle and Padgett Brewster too).
6. Every time I get to disliking Quinn, she breaks my heart a little ad I end up on her side again.
7. I think the Santana/Brittany/Artie stuff hurts so much because it feels so real and everyone is wrong and everyone is right.
8. In “Rumors,” I really wanted to smack Finchel. I guessed immediately what the deal with Sam was. Maybe it helped that it’s so common here. I kept thinking how selfish and self involved you would have to be to see the evidence and assume it was all about you instead of Kurt and Quinn being tactful and generous.
9. However, Rachel is not wrong that you shouldn’t be with someone you don’t trust.

Glee: Season 2

1. I’m still mulling over “Original Songs,” things like Rachel in Canary yellow, and the multiple meanings of “Blackbird” in that particular set of contexts. I haven’t found words yet. I’m not sure I will. I’m now wishing I was paying more attention to analysis when this came out.
2. I’m also poking at my response to the music, choreography, and context for my beloved “Raise Your Glass” in the Gleeverse. I think it’s part and parcel with my complex emotional response to Dalton as a whole, involving my knowledge of what private school is like from the inside, it’s position as both cage and refuge, and both the glamour of fairyland and the dark things it covers.
3. It connected to my constant awareness of and discomfort with Blaine’s facade and my real life tendency to worm past defenses of people I care about. His facade screams that he’s not okay to me, and I got my fingers mangled a few times to often by not looking when I was young, so now I can’t leave that stuff alone when I get get close. I’ve always rather stare into the dark head on and learn the shape of the damage than get ambushed by it later. It makes me fear for Kurt, for the weight and pain of it when Blaine inevitably does open and let him see the wounds. I know Kurt will want to help carry that weight, untangle the knots, and I know I wasn’t even close to ready to handle that stuff at his age and how hard I tried anyway and how much that costs.
4. Night of Neglect spoke to one of my essential confusions about Glee, which is that I honestly prefer Mercedes’ voice to Rachel’s. It’s a matter of taste, I guess. Rachel’s voice is just fine, but I find Mercedes’s more interesting. It seems like Shue often wastes her talent like he does Kurt’s and that’s baffling to me. I suppose it comes down to Shue being a shitty teacher and unwilling to examine his biases. Rachel’s explanation only works if Shue isn’t good at his job. As Shue is bad at his job, I guess Rachel’s explantion makes sense, but it still leaves me hostile.
5. Kurt and Blaine, how do I put this, looked so much like us towards the end of High School. That private school surface polish. They looked so adult next to the other kids, that particular sort of poise that means absolutely nothing, but can be impressive if you don’t know how it’s made. Like sausage. At eight when you put me in an adult cocktail party and I’d do just fine, a miniature adult, only quieter and more polite, until I could slip away to fish for stories from the old men at the fringes. My nine year old self being polite and charming for the visiting mothers. Pretending “Everything’s fine here, you haven’t sent your children to the ninth circle of Hell, where it’s all about treachery and cruelty and dragging the others down so you can be on top. You aren’t paying for institutional abuse and endless backstabbing. We’re all fine here.”
6. I loved the way Kurt and Blaine interacted, that sense of “us” not only in the way they faced off against Karofsky, but in the little asides and the way they talk to each other. They feel like a couple in an adult sort of way the other Glee couples don’t. I can’t explain it in words, but watching them was like watching a couple at least five or six years older that had been together a lot longer. I’m wiling to buy it given their context and personal histories. They both have been through a lot to get where they are, which ages one faster but unevenly, because they both are used to having to be adult in ways their peers don’t, because of surface polish, because they are vulnerable and open to each other in ways they aren’t even with friends. It looks fragile to me, but it also looks like potential to last if they can get through the really bad bit of trying to deal with the damage while learning the advanced relationship skill set as they go. Rm recently referred to Blaine as an onion, which seems about right to me, and Kurt still has a lot of his own bagage he’s barely started to unpack.
7. I keep thinking about the costs of leaving fairyland along with the costs of staying. I have nothing new and profound to say, except, I study the character’s faces and have all sorts of things percolating in the back of my brain. Quinn laying out a future where Rachel leaves and Quinn goes into real estate and gets fin, but never gets out, and ouch. I think she can Reach higher than that and dream bigger. I think about Finn as the anchor around Quinn and Rachel’s necks. I get the realism in her lower aspirations. I root for her getting free of Finn and Lima, because even though I often don’t like her or what she’s doing to others, I get what sorts of prices she’s had to pay and she’s so often displayed a grace in adversity I can empathize with and admire.
8. Lauren fascinates me. I have nothing profound here, but wow, there’s a lot to play with there.
9. I’ve started “Born this Way,” but am not far and have no real opinions yet.
10. Just generally, I like that Brittany and Becky are written as people and not cardboard stereotypes. I like that they are capable as being as mean as everyone else instead o being perfect.